


"Wedding" Away with It

by pendrogon



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fake Marriage, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 21:54:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3504116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendrogon/pseuds/pendrogon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One morning, Bones wakes up and he's single. By the same afternoon, he's married to Jim Kirk for Arbitrary Fic Reasons(TM).</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Wedding" Away with It

**Author's Note:**

> there's a post on [tumblr](http://maraparkers.tumblr.com/post/112850542239/digivolvin-u-know-ive-expressed-my-love-for-fake) talking about fake marriage fics and how they're fantastic and beautiful. it uses the term Arbitrary Fic Reasons at least once. that's my excuse for any mess up/mistake you may or not find in here. they have arbitrary fic reasons. because as we all know, we do not question arbitrary fic reasons, no matter how little sense they make.

When Jim gets a crazy idea stuck in his head, there’s no getting it out. He gets unbelievably stubborn and logical, and it’s not like Bones can argue against him very well just because they’re best friends. Jim makes arguments against Bones when he plays the _doctor_ card; fighting his best friend is small game.

So it’s really no surprise that when Jim tells an ambassador from a planet far, far away from home that, ‘this is my CMO and my husband, Bon--Dr. McCoy’, and ‘of course he’s married to his CMO, who else would he be married to’, and ‘we’ve only been married a few weeks, so it’s a little unorthodox’, and ‘Bones, welcome to Hell’.

The last one wasn’t really said so much as it was conveyed in one of Jim’s smiles, but Bones understands the sentiment all the same.

“Who else would I trust the lives of my crew with?” Jim asks in a tone that Bones is sure is supposed to sound amused. Bones can’t argue with that. Not well, anyway, because if the talks go well with the short, blue, many-eyed ambassador and her people, she’ll vote to allow them onto her planet, where there’s a figurative goldmine of medical miracles. And that’s just scratching the surface.

The short, little blue ambassador blinks her many eyes at Jim and pats his arm.

“Uh, _Captain_ ,” Bones says, smiling in that way that makes at least some amount of the color in Jim’s face drain. The bridge is quiet as it can be, in the face of Jim’s confession. Bones can feel everyone’s eyes looking between the three of them. “Maybe we should speak in private?”

Jim does a good job playing the aloof fool, anyway. “Bones, come on. I think the crew has proved they’re trustworthy enough to know about us, don’t you?” He smiles.

Damn him.

“I already knew,” Uhura says, looking entirely too pleased with herself.

At least the ambassador looks appeased. “Good, good,” she says, smiling at Bones with the fondness he’d see from his own grandmother.

What the hell happened on that planet, Bones wonders, to make a stranger fall so deeply in love with Jim Kirk? Then, immediately, he thinks maybe it’s not that far off. He’s not entirely convinced he wasn’t in love with Jim the moment he met him on that shuttle so many years ago.

“Uh, here,” Jim says, when it’s clear no one else has anything to say. Although, with the knowledge Jim’s just given them, that he and his CMO have been in a secret relationship for God knows how long, he’s sure it’s more a matter of not knowing where to start. “Let’s give you a tour of the ship.”

Jim winks at Bones as he leads the ambassador away, the bastard, leaving him alone on the bridge with a crew feeling betrayed and desperate for gossip.

Bones closes his eyes and waits for the explosion.

“That’s impossible!”

“How long have you been dating, McCoy?”

“How could you be married, we’ve been in _space_ for--”

“--the academy, you two are _not_ subtle.”

With a polite nod to Sulu, who’s the only crew member not giving him the third degree and thus the only one worthy of his attention right now, Bones heads back to the medbay.

\-----

Jim, of course, has forgotten all about the day’s events by the time he brings Bones’ dinner to his office that evening.

“Why didn’t you tell the ambassador goodnight?” Jim says, dumping Bones’ dinner onto his desk, right onto his PADD of research before seating himself in the extra chair. “She thinks we’re having marital problems now.”

“I can’t believe you told her we were married,” Bones says, shoving his dinner away to keep researching the readings Jim got from his first, and so far only, visit to the planet. Maybe this whole facade isn’t even worth it.

“What, we aren’t? You could’ve told me!”

Bones fixes him with a glare. “I’m serious, Jim, what if she finds out? You risked a lot of good things on whether this pans out, and I--”

Jim rolls his eyes, and replaces Bones’ dinner back in front of him. “She’s not going to find out. Stop worrying.”

“How can you be so sure?” The arrogance of the kid, honestly. He cheats death a couple of times and suddenly, you can’t get him to admit he’s human.

With a shrug, Jim shovels food into his mouth and stretches his legs out in front of him. He bumps his ankle against Bones’. “I already hacked Starfleet files to show we’ve been dating, and I retrodated a marriage license, _and_ I made it look like I put in a request to transfer quarters a month ago and we only now had the time to move. It’s fine, Bones.”

Bones keeps glaring at him. “You think of everything, don’t you?” He takes the lid off his dinner and pokes at it, not feeling much up to eating. It’s not bad, but freeze dried chicken stuck in space for years leaves a lot to be desired. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss a nice home cooked Earth meal that didn’t end in food poisoning.

“Besides,” Jim says conversationally, “we can sell it.”

“Sell what?”

“A marriage. Hey, don’t give me that look, Bones! We’re best friends. If trashy romcoms have taught me _anything_ \--”

Ignoring him, Bones interrupts with, “And the crew is supposed to believe this?”

“We have the forms to back it up! No one’s going to think twice. You know how Starfleet can be about stuff like this. We were just watching out for ourselves.” He glances up at Bones. “Sounds like you, right?”

Bones stabs his dinner with his fork angrily. Yeah, why not have a fake relationship with Jim Kirk? Not like that’ll end in something Bones will regret. Jim’s an open minded guy, Bones knows that. But even as open minded and sexually fluid as Kirk may be, he’s not sure it’s enough to take Bones’ inevitable confession of a very real love very well. He’s a loyal guy, and it’s a matter of trust, and Bones has let the issue simmer on the back burner for far too long, for too many arbitrary reasons. He’d be hurt, whether or not they live in one of those universes where Jim would return his feelings.

He frowns into his mug of coffee. How are we supposed to convince the crew?” Bones asks, finally.

“We tell them it was sudden, you know, happened on an Earth colony when we had an extra minute. Besides, Uhura can help sell the story.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

At least Jim has the decency to look ashamed about that. “Well, you know, Uhura was with me when the ambassador asked.”

Bones snorts. “How romantic of you to tell Uhura before me,” he says dryly.

Jim drops his fork onto his empty plate and sets it aside, looking at Bones with that damn puppy dog look he’s perfected over the years. “Look, okay, their culture puts positions like ours under a lot of rules. We’re both in charge of the lives of a lot of people, and you know, it’s important that we work together on that to them.”

“We didn’t work together when we weren’t married?”

“It’s a trust thing, Bones. If I don’t trust my life with my CMO, why is he my CMO?”

“And we’re supposed to prove that by getting married?”

He winces. “Well, technically, we were supposed to already be married. I--it’s a massive flaw in their military that’s already full of flaws. They can’t man enough ships in order to have a formidable defense because bonds like ours--” He gestures between the two of them. “--apparently don’t come around often.” Bones just stares at him. “What did you want me to do, say I was married to Spock?”

Isn’t that a nice mental image. “So she wouldn’t even agree to talking if you weren’t married?”

“I, uh, figured, since we had pretty limited knowledge of their culture, it was better to err on the side of caution?” Jim scratches the back of his neck. “Guess you’re rubbing off on me.”

Bones sighs. “Why should I play along?”

A grin spreads across Jim’s face and he leans forward, suddenly eager. Distantly, Bones knows he’s already agreed, to whatever Jim asks, now that he’s reasonably certain it’s virtually harmless. “Because the benefits outweigh the risks. If we get the ambassador’s approval, we’ll likely get full access to the planet. You’ve seen the scans, Bones. And if you think medicine is advanced on Earth? This planet is surreal.”

“And what do they get out of being so generous?” After all, that’s the point of negotiating talks; there’s got to be something outrageous Jim’s promised them in return. Their souls? He wouldn’t put it past him.

Jim shrugs. “I promised military support if they go to war. Which they won’t, don’t worry, because I have another plan for the people they’re feuding with! I’ve thought this through, Bones, really.”

“Before you landed on the hostile planet--”

“They’re not hostile!”

“--or thinking on your feet in the moment?”

“I do damn good thinking on my feet, Bones, you can’t deny that.” Bones looks at him warily, not quite convinced. “You’re a doctor,” Jim finally says with a sigh, lowering his voice. “You want to help people.”

“Yeah, but….” If the ambassador finds out, it says a lot of bad things about Starfleet, about humans in general. Jim’s done enough to get them in trouble with their own planet, they shouldn’t be pushing their luck.

“Bones,” Jim says, getting right in his face, “this’ll go smooth. I promise.”

He looks so sincere, still wide-eyed and eager, like he knows what that look does to Bones, and Bones’ anger fades away to the pot simmering in the back of his mind.

Sighing, Bones says, “I guess the ambassador already knows, right?” He rubs his face with his hands. “Might as well give it a shot.” They lose her support now if Bones comes clean; at least they’ve got a chance if he plays along.

Jim grins at him, bright and pleased, and gives Bones a peck on the cheek. “Thanks, Bones. You won’t regret this.” Somehow, Bones knows that’s not true. “Look, I have to talk to someone about making room for the ambassador and some of her people on board, but we can talk about proposal stories when I get back?”

Bones groans. “Why don’t we just say that, I dunno, I proposed on--”

It’s hard not to be hurt when Jim laughs. “She’s not going to believe that you proposed, Bones. She doesn’t think you’re a romantic.”

“I’ll have you know--”

“Hey, I know you’re a soft-hearted buffoon, but the way you were glaring at her has her spooked. It’s gotta be me.”

“I was glaring at _you_!”

“Can we argue later?” Jim asks, checking the time. “I really need to get this settled. She wants on the ship by sunrise.”

“Yeah, sure,” Bones says, waving him away. Not a romantic. He snorts. How does Jim always get him into these situations where Bones ends up looking like an ass, and why does Bones let him do it?

“Thanks. See you at home!”

Home?, Bones thinks as the door shuts behind him. His PADD lights up not a second later with a message from Jim. His new room assignment.

Damn him.

\-----

Jim, damn him, sends him a message with their proposal story - _We were under the stars, Bones, on our anniversary. We had a picnic on a quilt you made when you were younger, I popped the question after you popped open the champagne. It went everywhere. You cried when I gave you the ring._

Bones sends him back the following:

_Bones bought me dinner, charmed me out of my pants, and got down on one knee like a gentleman, and Jim Kirk is an idiot._

At least part of it’s true.

\-----

The next morning, Bones is sitting in a conference room next to Jim while he talks with the ambassador and her people. Bones has never felt so big in his life, while simultaneously feeling smaller than the people they’re negotiating with. They keep staring at him, smiling and barely managing to contain their laughter. It’s frustrating on a good day, but Bones has a foggy head from no sleep. The bed Jim had ordered isn’t available until the _Enterprise_ docks again, and Bones knows himself better than to trust himself to keep from doing something stupid when he’s in such proximity to a half-naked Jim Kirk, so he’d hovered on the edge of the bed all night, frowning into the darkness and thinking about how he’d vowed to never get married again, but here he is.

The coffee is, of course, useless, but it gives him a convenient excuse to keep his mouth shut, anyway.

The ambassador gives him a knowing look every time he refills his cup. He tries to meet her with polite smiles, but between her looks and Jim almost completely ignoring him, it’s impossible to keep it up.

“So,” the ambassador says, “a rough night, Dr. McCoy?”

He barely manages to keep the growl out of his voice. “Excuse me?”

The ambassador (who has a name that Bones has, regrettably, forgotten) says, “I know that look. You are exhausted from the night with your husband. I understand it was your first night together?”

Bones opens his mouth to respond, but finds he doesn’t have any words. Jim isn’t of any use, either; the bastard’s leaning back in his chair with one leg crossed over the other, hiding his own smile behind his hand. “Uh, pardon?”

“Captain Kirk had mentioned your quarters were only moved yesterday?” she says, sounding confused. “I imagine the two of you took advantage of that.” At Bones’ blank look, she adds, “You are a doctor, surely you know it’s only natural.”

“You’ll have to forgive Bones,” Jim finally says, reaching forward to take one of Bones’ hands from the table into his own. “Where he comes from, relationships are usually a little more subtle.”

The ambassador beams. “Of course. I can understand.”

Looking down at his fingers intertwined in Jim’s, Bones says, “Right, of course. Uh, if we’re done here, I have research to do in medbay.” He has regular coffee in medbay, too; all the better.

“Yeah. I’ll come by for lunch in a few hours,” Jim says, standing with Bones and leaning forward to give him a chaste kiss. Their audience sighs, murmuring what it must be like to be so in love. The ambassador just looks between them with knowing eyes.

Maybe it’s not the PDA that’s selling it, Bones thinks as he leaves the room, maybe she can read Bones better than he’d thought.

He locks himself in his office to avoid the questions from his staff, but it doesn’t stop the barrage of messages on his PADD, anyway.

One sticks out at him, though; _wearing one of your shirts to dinner. I think they’ll like that._

Bones is a reasonable human being, but it’s hard to resist the urge to beat his head against his desk.

 

\-----

“How long are they going to be on board?” Bones asks Jim at dinner, gratefully taking the drink offered to him and downing it in one go. “You know how many times I’ve had to dodge intrusive questions from our guests?”

Jim looks at him brightly, gesturing to his - Bones’ - shirt. “Good choice?” he asks, before he wraps his arm around Bones’ waist, nuzzles against his jaw and Bones goes stock still. “Don’t look so scared,” he whispers, pulling back.

“I’m not scared,” Bones says, except that he is. He way overshot his ability to keep his cool, because this was totally not in the agreement. Then again, there _wasn’t_ an agreement, Jim keeps doing things without consulting Bones.

Really, it’s the little things that Jim never consults him on. The big stuff, Jim always asks.

“A week or so,” Jim says, pulling away. “Look, they just want to know we’re good people before they make any decisions that could potentially harm them. They’re a lot more like you than you think, you know.”

“So they put their ambassador on an alien ship to check things out?” Bones shakes his head. “That definitely sounds like something I’d do.”

“See? That’s why you have me.”

“So,” Jim says conversationally, though his voice is pitched low, and quiet enough so only the two of them can hear. “How do I look?”

“Are you seriously asking me that question?” Because Bones has a lot of words he’d use to describe Jim right now, looking entirely too comfortable in one of Bones’ off-shift shirts, none of which he’s willing to admit to thinking right now.

“Just thought my husband might appreciate the look, you know,” Jim says with a shrug, but he’s still looking expectantly at him.

Bones swallows. “Yeah,” he says slowly, “I do.”

Jim kisses the edge of Bones’ mouth, then, and darts away to go get dinner. Everyone’s watching Bones, most noticeably the ambassador and a few of her people, who are nearly swooning at the display Jim’s just given them. Bones ducks his head, meaning to follow Jim to get dinner, and runs into Uhura.

“So,” she says, linking their arms, “what’s married life like?”

Bizarre, Bones thinks. His first marriage - God help him, he’s calling it that already - left a lot to be desired, and so far, this one’s shaping up to do just the same, for very different reasons. “Good,” he says, chancing a look across the room. The guests don’t look exactly pleased by his coupling with Uhura. “No offense, but uh--they’re looking.”

“What? Oh.” She pulls away. “So this isn’t like some elaborate scheme to get access to their planet, right? Because--”

“You really think I’m capable of that level of deceit?” Bones asks.

“You? No. But I know what you’ll do for Kirk, and what Kirk will do for humanity.”

“Nyota,” he starts, but Jim interrupts them, holding one plate and two forks, offering one to Bones. Uhura leaves with a light touch to Bones’ arm and a soft, ‘We’ll talk later,’ though Bones already knows that’s not going to happen.

He takes his fork from Jim with a sigh, and turns to face him. Of course they’ll share meals. What’s more surprising is that they’re not expected to share utensils.

“Ah, wait,” Jim says, batting Bones’ hand away as he goes for a bite. He sets the plate down on a nearby table before he pulls Bones by the back of the neck into a kiss, and Bones’ heart pounds in his ears while Jim makes his move.

It’s not that Bones hasn’t been expecting it, really; in the same place where he shoves down all of his unspoken feelings for Jim, he’s known it would happen, that Jim doesn’t back away from a challenge and this is the biggest Bones has posed him in a while.

It’s chaste enough for the crew, but Jim’s still giving Bones’ mouth gentle little licks, like he’s asking for something more, and Bones finds himself teetering on the edge between giving in and pulling away. There are boundaries, he thinks to himself as he puts his hand against Jim’s chest, not sure if he’s going to push him away or pull him closer yet. But when Jim sees boundaries, he darts for them, determined to fight against them.

This is different. Jim doesn’t think there’s a boundary to be broken, and Bones is too chickenshit to tell him otherwise.

Jim pulls away with a confused, almost hurt look in his eyes, and sits at the table. By the time Bones can find himself, can get his mind away from the way Jim’s lips felt, from the way he tasted like toothpaste and liquor, Jim’s composed, like kissing is something they do all the damn time, (which Bones supposes it _is_ , or is supposed to be, to everyone watching) already deep in a conversation with Scotty about--

God, Bones can’t even concentrate long enough to figure out what they’re talking about. Scotty smiles at him when he finally sits down, but Bones doesn’t have it in himself to keep from glaring daggers at the side of Jim’s head.

Damn Jim Kirk.

 

“You look terrible,” Sulu says to him the next morning. “Too much bourbon?” he adds with a smile. 

Too much Kirk, Bones thinks to himself, but offers Sulu a tight smile, anyway. “Yeah. How are the talks going?”

Sulu’s eyes light up, and he lifts the plant he’s carrying up a bit. “Great! They like you and Kirk so much they sent this up.”

“What is it?” Bones says, backing away slightly.

“I don’t know,” Sulu tells him, “but I’m very excited about it.” And he disappears.

Bones had spent the night awake, staring at Jim while his chest rose and fell with each breath, equal parts loving and hating the man in front of him. That's the thing about unrequited love, he thinks, and frowns to himself. He's not a high school sophomore in love for the first time, and it's embarrassing that Jim can render him to such a state with a kiss. It's not like he can do the same.

Jim's had him pegged since day one, and Bones thinks, for the most part, he can read Jim well enough himself. Well enough to know Jim thinks he's got the upper hand, anyway, by being able to shock Bones into silence every time he gets a little close, and now that Bones has realized that, he can work it to his advantage.

So when Jim comes by medbay to escort Bones to lunch like a good fake husband, Bones smiles brightly at him and draws him forward for a kiss.

It's an interesting feeling, to have Jim still against him, when he's often so jittery. "Hey, darlin'," he says, drawling his words like the southern boy he is. Jim stares at him blankly for a minute. "I'll be back in an hour," he tells his staff, who are all as still as Jim is. Chapel manages an, "Of course!" after her initial surprise wears off.

Jim can barely wave back at them. Bones has to steer him out of medbay.

"What was that?" Jim hisses once they're out of earshot.

Bones smiles at him, sugary-sweet. Jim scowls. "Gotta sell it, right?”

One of the ambassador’s people walks by, giggling to himself, so Bones leans forward and kisses Jim again. Pulling Jim’s bottom lip between his own, and resting his right hand over Jim's heart, Bones tries hard not to feel smug about Jim being so hesitant. 

Once they’re alone again, Jim pulls away, bumping against the wall behind him, he pulls away so fast. “Right,” he says. Bones just smiles. “Gotta sell it. I have--meeting. Uh, lunch?”

Bones looks at him, amused, and thinks, How does it feel? “That's where we were headed, darlin'."

Jim gives him a _look_ , but disappears down the hallway towards the conference room, anyway. He passes Uhura without a word, who almost giggles at him.

“What’s up with the Captain?” she asks. Bones just smiles. “Right. I’ll leave you to it.”

\-----

The more time that passes, the more it becomes less and less about proving to the ambassador that she’s placing her planet in good hands and more about proving to the other how far they’re willing to go. Bones, whose heart goes a little fast when Jim kisses him against the door to their quarters, is having a hell of a time out-loving Jim.

It's not very often you get to test drive a relationship before you admit to being in love with someone for years.

Jim sits in Bones’ lap during meals--Bones rubs his shoulders during negotiation talks. Jim nuzzles against Bones’ jaw--Bones wraps himself around Jim at night.

That Jim does question. “No one’s here to see, Bones, what the hell?”

“Gotta keep up appearances, darlin’,” he says into Jim’s ear. God, it feels good to get him back. Jim has been making him feel out of his element for years; payback has never been sweeter.

In the back of his mind, though, where he keeps all those feelings for Jim Kirk nice and hidden, there’s a bigger issue at stake, though. There’s an end to this. In a few days, the ambassador will leave, and Jim can hack the Starfleet files to say they were never married, and the crew will learn that this was just for negotiations and he and Bones have never been in a relationship, ever. The keep it up when they meet the planet for new negotiations, but beyond that....

He dips his face into Jim’s shoulder, frowning, surprised when Jim asks, “What are you thinking?”

“Loaded question,” Bones says tiredly. It’s been nice, but he and Jim will go back to being friends and coworkers, and Bones will still be stuck with the same issue he has been for years.

He’s still in love with Jim Kirk, and Jim Kirk still doesn’t know.

He feels Jim shift underneath him. “I think--”

“ _Bridge to Captain_ \--”

Bones rolls onto his back, almost groaning, while Jim takes the call. Maybe it’s getting out of hand, he thinks, whatever game they're playing. Maybe he should back off before Jim gets scared off. The last thing Bones needs is to be stuck on a ship with a captain that won't speak to him.

But that's not Jim, Bones thinks to himself angrily, because Jim would never be that big of an asshole without reason.

"I gotta go, Bones," Jim says, crawling out of bed. "Someone's claiming we're bullshitting our relationship for medical advancements."

That isn't wholly untrue, Bones thinks, but asks, "Do you need me?" instead.

A pained look crosses Jim's face, but he's quick to hide it. That’s weird, Bones notes, but says nothing.

"No, just get some sleep, I'll take care of it."

\-----

Not fifteen minutes later, Bones is interrupted by Jim again.

"Bones," he says, sounding upset, "she wants you there, too."

"She doesn't think you can do anything without me, does she?"

Jim slaps his leg. "Come on, Bones, I wanna get this over with as soon as possible."

"Okay, okay." Bones reaches out for a shirt, finds one, and pulls it over his head. "Fill me in. Who's crying wolf?"

"She says she won't say who, but someone claims they caught you with a woman, and she wants to hear what you have to say for yourself."

"What'd you tell them?"

"That you're a good southern boy with manners, and if anything like that happened, you'd tell me." Jim's voice takes on an amusing tone. "Any secret girlfriend you wanna tell me about, Bones?"

"Yeah, right, kid, like I have time to date." Not that he'd want to if he did, although he thinks that might also make it easier to get over bright-eyed, bushy-tailed Captain James T. Kirk, but one thing at a time.

The ambassador is almost red with anger when Bones steps into the conference room behind Jim, talking to one of her people in her angry clicks and whistles, only stopping once Bones clears his throat.

"Doctor McCoy," she says. "Are you faking your relationship with Captain Kirk? I've received word that some of my staff has seen you--with a woman, that Uhura, and--well, watch what you say carefully. If we find you to be in violation of one of our codes, then we may very well retract our offer."

Never mind that a good portion of the _Enterprise_ crew is women, of course, but Bones thinks his usual grumpy manner isn't going to get them anywhere. He can feel Jim staring at him.

"Ma'am," he starts, nodding at her, acutely aware how bizarre this whole situation is, "I would never do that to Jim. You see, where I come from, you don't cheat on the love of your life."

She stares at him. Bones tries not to fidget. Finally, after what feels like an hour, she nods. "Of course. It was offensive to think you may be lying. I hope I haven't diminished the bond between you and your husband."

"Oh, we've been through much worse," Jim says. He sounds as diplomatic as ever as he bids the ambassador and her friend (Bones is starting to wonder if he isn't actually her partner) goodnight. He clears his throat as Bones turns around. "Bones...."

"Look, Jim, I'm still exhausted from yesterday. I just wanna go back to bed."

It's the wrong thing to say, because Jim looks like he had the day they met, a man at the end of his rope, ready to take a leap. "Okay, Bones."

He sounds so defeated.

That simmering pot in the back of Bones' mind feels like it's about to boil over.

\-----

He doesn't see Jim alone for the next few days. They still eat lunch and dinner together, Jim still sits in his lap, Bones still kisses the corners of his lips--it's easy to keep it up for an audience, because they both know the technology they'd have access to outweighs whatever they've discovered going on between them, but it's exhausting. Bones goes back to their room, sleeps alone, and wakes up alone.

They've barely spoken--at least, it feels like it--in days when the ambassador leaves, almost evening on her planet and nearing dinner for Bones’ shift.

"I am very impressed by your leadership," she says, beaming at them. "You have my acceptance. I'm sure I can get the other ambassadors to agree. In a few days time, you'll have your answer." She steps forward to Jim and takes his hands in her own. "I apologize for any discomfort I may have caused the two of you. I see, now, you are a very strong couple."

"It's no problem, really." Jim smiles, then ducks his head and whistles her name. Bones raises his eyebrows. "I look forward to hearing from your people."

She steps onto the transporter with a smile to Bones, and like that, disappears.

The bridge, once again, is as silent as it can be, until Scotty interrupts with, "Now SHE was the last one?"

"Captain," Sulu says, but Jim is already headed off somewhere else, barking commands as he goes.

With a sigh, Bones follows him.

He's packing his things, just a small box, throwing everything onto their double bed, frowning. "Jim..."

Jim doesn't say anything. He can't be mad, can he?

"Jim," Bones tries again, stepping forward and dropping his hand to Jim's forearm. "You're upset."

Jim directs his gaze to Bones' hand, his jaw working silently as he stands almost stock still. "I need you," he says, pausing for so long Bones thinks that's all there is to it. "I mean, I--I don't--I need you to give me a report." He sighs, pulling himself away from Bones and going to continue packing. "Hey, look, thanks for doing this. I mean, I would've asked Spock, but he's still on leave for his people, and--honestly I kind of doubt he'd've been believable." He laughs, short and dry. "'You don't cheat on the love of your life where I come from.' Nice touch."

Upset, then. Bones almost smiles. "Jim."

"Anyway, figured maybe we could get back to bunking separately, you know? Old man like you, probably did more harm than good to your back."

Bones crosses his arms. "Anything you want to tell me, Jim?"

"...Good work? I think I'll actually have to debrief the crew. You're good at playing in love."

Here goes, Bones thinks, but it's nowhere near as terrifying as Bones always thought it'd be. That terrifying about-to-boil-over pot of feelings for Jim suddenly settles down into something palatable. "Yeah, well, when you live the part, it's easier." That gets Jim to stop shoving their belongings into separate boxes, anyway. When he doesn't say anything, Bones steps forward and continues with, "Drawing from experience seals the deal, you know. But I guess, one-sided isn't enough to get us free access to advanced medical technolo--"

"Well, I dunno about one-sided," Jim finally says, sounding much more like himself now that his world has been righted a little. Bones isn't lording anything over him, anymore; they're back on equal footing. "Did you really have to pull out the accent though?"

"Darlin', I have no idea what you're talking about," Bones says, stepping up behind Jim. Jim elbows him in the ribs, laughing. "I couldn't resist. How often do you get to see the great Captain Kirk with a blush?"

"If you play your cards right, a lot more often."

Bones nuzzles against the back of Jim's neck, relieved. "I didn't lie to her, you know."

"Bones, we're only married until I hack the file again."

Responsible as he looks, Jim’s still the kid that cheated on one of Starfleet’s biggest tests, at the heart of it. God help him, Bones wouldn’t have it any other way. "What kind of a respectable Starfleet captain hacks confidential files?"

"They're my files! If anyone should have access to them, I should."

"I didn't lie," Bones says, redirecting Jim because this is important, "about being in love with you.”

“‘Course not. I knew that.”

“Mmhmm,” Bones says, wrapping his arms around Jim’s waist. “If it helps you sleep at night, kid.”

“You know…” Jim says, “uh, the crew doesn’t--really know it was a marriage for politics. We could keep it up for a while, if you’re willing.”

Leave it to Jim to find a reason to extend their sham of a marriage. “What’d you have in mind?”

“How d’you feel about going on a date with me, Bones?”

Bones smiles into Jim’s neck. “Aw, I thought’d you’d never ask.”


End file.
